

1 / 3New Toilet Card: I Can't Wait To Poop In Your New Toilet Greeting
New Toilet Card delivers a cheeky housewarming message with the text "I CAN'T WAIT TO POOP IN YOUR NEW TOILET" and a simple toilet graphic.
Shipping from $3.95
- Arrives in 5–9 business days$3.95 shipping · Free over $25 · Order before 2 PM ET to ship sooner
- 30-day returnsUnwritten cards, original condition. Learn more
- Secure checkout: cards & PayPal
New Toilet Card shows the phrase "I CAN'T WAIT TO POOP IN YOUR NEW TOILET" alongside a simple toilet illustration, and this bold message turns a basic household item into a hilarious housewarming joke. The design celebrates the new home with unapologetic humor, and it is made for friends who appreciate crude comedy when moving into their first space.
Ships with a kraft envelope; envelope color in photo may vary.
The design piece by piece
Large, hand-lettered blue text dominates the left side of the card, stacking vertically to maximize impact. A stylized white toilet sits in the lower right corner, featuring a lid raised up and water colored in the same cyan shade as the words. The background is a soft, warm beige that provides contrast for the cool blue typography. This layout pairs a direct verbal statement with a clear visual representation of the subject matter. The simplicity of the drawing ensures the focus stays on the pun and the celebratory nature of the occasion. Together, the text and image create a cohesive unit that acknowledges the mundane reality of plumbing while offering a laugh about it.
Everyday moments
You might slip this card into a box of cleaning supplies or leave it on the counter of a newly renovated kitchen. This funny new home card works best when handed over during a casual visit or included in a larger moving basket. It fits naturally into the chaotic energy of settling into a fresh address where priorities are still shifting. The recipient will likely smile at the absurdity of focusing on such a specific bodily function during a milestone event. It breaks the tension of packing and unpacking with a moment of shared silliness.
When you need a gift
This design suits any housewarming celebration where traditional sentiments feel too stiff or overly polite. You can use it to mark the completion of a renovation project or the signing of a lease agreement. The natural color option offers a grounded aesthetic that lets the bright blue text stand out without competing with other party decorations. It is an excellent choice for gifting to roommates, college students, or anyone starting their independent living journey with a sense of irony.
- What does the phrase on the card actually mean?
- The phrase is a literal expression of excitement about using a brand new bathroom item. It plays on the common enthusiasm people feel when moving into a clean space, but applies it to a very private biological function. The humor comes from stating something everyone thinks but rarely says aloud in a social setting. It transforms a taboo topic into a friendly, if slightly gross, gesture of welcome.
- Who would enjoy receiving this specific design?
- This card is ideal for friends known for their crude humor or lack of social filter. It suits people who enjoy meme culture and appreciate jokes that rely on shock value rather than subtle wordplay. If your recipient laughs at bathroom antics or has a history of making dirty jokes, they will understand the reference immediately. It is less suitable for formal acquaintances or those who prefer elegant, understated greetings.
- What are the best occasions to give this card?
- The primary occasion is a housewarming party or a moving day delivery. It also works well for celebrating a newly finished bathroom remodel or a rental agreement. Since the message references a "new toilet," it is most relevant when the recipient is physically entering a new building. Pairing it with a practical gift like toilet paper or cleaning spray enhances the thematic connection and adds a layer of functional humor to the presentation.
- Premium 350 gsm cardstock
- Full-color print on demand (front)
- Folded 5 x 7 in (A7) card
- Blank inside for your own message
- Kraft envelope included
- Printed to order
- Paper weight: 350 g/m²

$3.95 flat shipping per order, free on orders of $25 or more. Cards are printed to order: 2–4 business days to print and pack, then 3–5 business days in transit (5–9 business days in total). We ship within the United States only.
Return unwritten cards within 30 days of delivery. Damaged or misprinted? We replace or refund it free. Read our Shipping Policy and Returns & Refund Policy.







