1 / 3Wise Woman Retired Card for a Boss or Coworker
Wise Woman Retired Card gives a retiring colleague a bold, funny send-off with pink script lettering and a cheerful star.
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Wise Woman Retired Card shows a bold, funny line in black capitals, and WISE WOMAN in pink script announces the one who finally walked away. The punchline is blunt: she decided she had had enough and retired, and the sign-off congratulates her on the choice. It lands with anyone who has carried a workplace for years.
Ships with a kraft envelope; envelope color in photo may vary.
What is printed on it
The full line is set in heavy black capitals across the card, reading AND THEN THE WISE WOMAN DECIDED, then FUCK THIS SHIT AND RETIRED, with CONGRATULATIONS at the bottom. The phrase WISE WOMAN stands out in pink script, underlined by a looping pink swoosh that draws the eye straight to it. A small pink crown sits above those words, a nod to the authority she has earned over the years. Below the line, a smiling pink star with a few sparkle marks adds a light touch to the bluntness. Each element has its place, so the card reads top to bottom as a single joke with a warm finish.
Made for these people
The people who notice this card first are the ones who knew her working life: bosses, coworkers, teachers and mentors who have watched her hold a team or a classroom together. When they read the phrase Wise Woman Retired Card on the shelf, they recognize a gift that speaks their language. A teacher who has marked papers for decades will laugh at the blunt last line, while a coworker who shared the same chaotic meetings will see the joke at once. It is a card for people who want to be funny and affectionate in the same breath.
A gift idea that fits
Give this card on her last day, slipped into a small envelope with a note, or hand it over at the retirement party while the whole room is still laughing. It also works as a companion to a small farewell gift, so the card gives the joke and the gift gives the thanks. Read the line aloud at the party and let the crowd finish the punchline with you. It is an easy way to send someone off with a grin and a bit of pink sparkle.
- What does the joke on this card mean?
- The line AND THEN THE WISE WOMAN DECIDED... FUCK THIS SHIT AND RETIRED is a blunt, affectionate way of saying she has finally chosen to leave work after years of carrying it. The profanity is the punchline, and CONGRATULATIONS turns the joke into a warm send-off that celebrates her decision.
- Who will appreciate this card the most?
- A coworker, boss, teacher or mentor who has shared a long working history with the retiree will enjoy it most. The pink crown and the wise woman wording honor her experience, while the blunt last line suits someone who has seen the daily chaos of the job and will laugh at the relief of leaving it behind.
- What occasions suit this retirement card?
- Use it for a last day at the office, a farewell lunch, a classroom send-off or a retirement party. It also fits a small gift box or a bouquet, since the card carries the joke and the gift carries the thanks. Slip it in with a note so the recipient can read the punchline first.
- Premium 350 gsm cardstock
- Full-color print on demand (front)
- Folded 5 x 7 in (A7) card
- Blank inside for your own message
- Kraft envelope included
- Printed to order
- Paper weight: 350 g/m²
$3.95 flat shipping per order, free on orders of $25 or more. Cards are printed to order: 2–4 business days to print and pack, then 3–5 business days in transit (5–9 business days in total). We ship within the United States only.
Return unwritten cards within 30 days of delivery. Damaged or misprinted? We replace or refund it free. Read our Shipping Policy and Returns & Refund Policy.
