1 / 3Sarcastic Wedding Card with a Bold Retro Message
Sarcastic Wedding Card with bold retro type that jokes about a couple being so happy it turns you queasy, with a grudging congrats.
Shipping from $3.95
- Arrives in 5–9 business days$3.95 shipping · Free over $25 · Order before 2 PM ET to ship sooner
- 30-day returnsUnwritten cards, original condition. Learn more
- Secure checkout: cards & PayPal
Sarcastic Wedding Card shows YOU TWO ARE SO HAPPY IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE, and that blunt line is the whole joke. It is said with a straight face, so the couple gets the warmth of a congratulations wrapped in a dare to roll their eyes. It is a fine pick for the friend who would never write a sappy message and wants to say so.
Ships with a kraft envelope; envelope color in photo may vary.
The design piece by piece
The card is built almost entirely from type, with each line stacked in a chunky retro display face that fills the square. TWO sits in a bright red, HAPPY is set in yellow, and PUKE runs along the bottom in a lighter green that stands out against the deep green background. The cream lettering for the rest of the words keeps the layout balanced and easy to read at a glance. Beneath the big letters, a smaller line in matching green reads SERIOUSLY THO CONGRATS ON YOUR WEDDING OR WHATEVER, giving the card its second voice. The contrast between the heavy headline and the small, casual aside is what makes the message land.
Everyday moments
This card suits friends who joke with each other all the time and know where the line sits. You might hand it to a couple who have been teasing each other for years, or to a friend who always rolls their eyes at engagement photos. It fits the moment when you want to celebrate someone without sounding like you wrote a greeting card. The bold lettering also makes it a good card to prop on a shelf where everyone can see it.
When you need a gift
This card works well for a wedding, an engagement party, or a first anniversary when the couple appreciates dry humor. Slip it into a gift bag with a bottle of something nice, or tuck it under a larger present. It is also a good choice for a bachelor or bachelorette celebration card, since the joke fits the teasing mood of those nights. Read it aloud at the reception table and watch the couple laugh.
- What does the wording on this card actually say?
- The main line reads YOU TWO ARE SO HAPPY IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUKE, and it is followed by SERIOUSLY THO CONGRATS ON YOUR WEDDING OR WHATEVER in smaller letters. The joke is that the first line sounds like a sour complaint about the couple's happiness, while the second line offers a half-hearted congratulations. Together they read as sarcastic teasing rather than a sincere message.
- Who is this card best suited for?
- It suits friends who share a dry, teasing sense of humor and would be amused rather than hurt by the joke. It works well for a couple who enjoy ribbing each other, or for a friend who always finds weddings a little over the top. It is less suited to formal or family settings where an irreverent line might not land.
- What makes this design different from other wedding cards?
- Most wedding cards use soft script and warm wishes, but this one is built from bold retro capitals in cream, yellow, red and green on a deep green background. The main line is a deliberate jab at the couple's happiness, which is rare in wedding stationery. The bright, blocky type gives it a vintage poster feel.
- Premium 350 gsm cardstock
- Full-color print on demand (front)
- Folded 5 x 7 in (A7) card
- Blank inside for your own message
- Kraft envelope included
- Printed to order
- Paper weight: 350 g/m²
$3.95 flat shipping per order, free on orders of $25 or more. Cards are printed to order: 2–4 business days to print and pack, then 3–5 business days in transit (5–9 business days in total). We ship within the United States only.
Return unwritten cards within 30 days of delivery. Damaged or misprinted? We replace or refund it free. Read our Shipping Policy and Returns & Refund Policy.
