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Retirement Cards for Coworkers

Retired Pensioner Card: Annual Wage Increase Joke

Retired Pensioner Card turns a wage notice into a joke, with WAGE crossed out in red and Commiserations written under it.

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Blank inside — write your own noteKraft envelope includedFolded 5 × 7 in · Premium 350 gsm cardstock
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Retired Pensioner Card shows an official notice in bold black type, with the words Annual Wage Increase at its center and a red scribble striking through WAGE. Beneath it, CONGRATULATIONS is crossed out and replaced with Commiserations written in red. The whole thing is a joke in two colors, and it makes its point before you finish reading the header.

Ships with a kraft envelope; envelope color in photo may vary.

What the design tells

The top of the card carries a small round seal beside the words Department for Worn Out Pensioners, set in a plain sans-serif that looks like a government letterhead. Below it, the line Official confirmation of your: introduces the headline. ANNUAL WAGE INCREASE stacks in heavy capitals, and the red crossing marks cut right through WAGE, so the reader sees the raise being canceled as they read it. The contrast between a formal notice and a casual red scrawl is the whole gag. Underneath, the crossed-out CONGRATULATIONS and the red Commiserations give the card its tone: sympathy in place of celebration. The layout is clean and simple, with plenty of white space, so the message stays sharp and easy to take in at a glance.

People who will use it

The people who will laugh first are coworkers who have shared years of meetings, budget talks and quiet hopes for a raise. A retiring colleague will recognize the joke right away, and so will the team that stayed behind. You might send this to a longtime office mate who has been waiting on a promotion for a decade, or to a boss who always promised a raise next quarter. The card works because it is affectionate. Everyone in the room knows you are teasing the system, not the person leaving. It also suits a manager writing to a departing employee, since the humor stays friendly and never mean.

A small gift idea

Give this card with a small thing the retiree can enjoy after the last day, such as a good coffee mug, a packet of favorite snacks or a note about the first morning off. Hand it over at the farewell lunch so the room can read the front together. Sign the inside with a few memories from the years you shared, and the joke becomes a sincere goodbye.

What does the Commiserations line mean on this card?
Commiserations is the printed line that replaces CONGRATULATIONS on the card, written in red below the crossed-out word. It signals sympathy instead of celebration, which is the joke. The card suggests that a retiree has earned a raise but never got it, so you offer comfort instead of cheer. It is a dry twist that makes the notice feel personal and playful.
Who gets the most out of this retirement card?
Coworkers who spent years in the same office get the most from this card, especially anyone who waited on a raise or budget approval that never came. It also suits a boss writing to a departing team member. The official notice format makes the reference clear to anyone who has ever opened a pay statement. It is affectionate teasing, so the person leaving will usually laugh too.
How can you pair this card with a farewell gift?
Pair this card with a small thing the retiree can enjoy on the first morning off, such as a good coffee mug or a favorite snack. Read the front aloud at the farewell lunch, then write a few shared memories inside. The card sets a light tone, and the gift gives it warmth. Together they make a farewell that feels funny and sincere at once.
  • Premium 350 gsm cardstock
  • Full-color print on demand (front)
  • Folded 5 x 7 in (A7) card
  • Blank inside for your own message
  • Kraft envelope included
  • Printed to order
  • Paper weight: 350 g/m²
Size guide: folded card 5 × 7 in with kraft envelope

$3.95 flat shipping per order, free on orders of $25 or more. Cards are printed to order: 2–4 business days to print and pack, then 3–5 business days in transit (5–9 business days in total). We ship within the United States only.

Return unwritten cards within 30 days of delivery. Damaged or misprinted? We replace or refund it free. Read our Shipping Policy and Returns & Refund Policy.

Ships in 5–9 business days
Free shipping over $25
30-day returns
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