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Retirement Cards for Coworkers

Retired Joke Card: a shopping bag punchline for retirees

Retired Joke Card brings a witty retirement punchline to a mint green shopping bag card, perfect for sending your favorite retiree off in style.

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Blank inside — write your own noteKraft envelope includedFolded 5 × 7 in · Premium 350 gsm cardstock
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Retired Joke Card shows a joke in the best possible setting, with the printed words “I was gonna tell a joke about retired people but none of them work.” The line is a playful tease that suggests retirees are too busy enjoying their freedom to bother with punchlines, and it lands best with someone who has earned a good laugh. It was made for the coworkers, friends and family you are sending off into their next chapter.

Ships with a kraft envelope; envelope color in photo may vary.

A closer look at the print

The card shows a white shopping bag with a curved handle, drawn with thin black outlines on a mint green background. The bag sits front and center, and its clean shape gives the lettering plenty of room to breathe. The top lines are set in bold red capitals, while the lower lines use smaller black capitals for contrast. Together they read like a quick aside, the kind of thing someone might say on their way out the door. The shopping bag reference adds a light, everyday touch that makes the joke feel relaxed rather than sharp.

Who will love it

You will notice the joke first, then the shopping bag, then the warm mint color that makes the whole card feel friendly. The people who get the most out of it are coworkers who have shared years of meetings and coffee breaks, along with friends and relatives who have been looking forward to a slower pace of life. Retired Joke Card works when you want a laugh to go with your goodbye. Slip it into a farewell envelope at the office, or hand it over at a family party where the retiree can read it aloud.

Occasions and picks

Retirement parties and last days at work are the obvious moments for this card, but it also fits a surprise lunch or a card tucked into a gift basket. It comes as a greeting card in natural color, so it pairs easily with a small treat or a bottle of something bubbly. Save it for the person who will laugh hardest at a joke about their own new schedule.

What does the joke on this card mean?
The printed words say “I was gonna tell a joke about retired people but none of them work.” The humor comes from the idea that retirees are too busy enjoying their freedom to waste time on punchlines, so the joke ends up being on the joke-teller instead.
Who is this card best suited for?
This card suits coworkers, friends and family members who are retiring and have a good sense of humor. It works especially well for someone who will get a laugh from the idea that their new life is too full for jokes about their age or their schedule.
What occasions suit this retirement card?
It fits retirement parties, a coworker’s last day, or a family celebration marking a big milestone. You can also send it by mail when you cannot be there in person, since the shopping bag and bold lettering make the joke easy to appreciate at a glance.
  • Premium 350 gsm cardstock
  • Full-color print on demand (front)
  • Folded 5 x 7 in (A7) card
  • Blank inside for your own message
  • Kraft envelope included
  • Printed to order
  • Paper weight: 350 g/m²
Size guide: folded card 5 × 7 in with kraft envelope

$3.95 flat shipping per order, free on orders of $25 or more. Cards are printed to order: 2–4 business days to print and pack, then 3–5 business days in transit (5–9 business days in total). We ship within the United States only.

Return unwritten cards within 30 days of delivery. Damaged or misprinted? We replace or refund it free. Read our Shipping Policy and Returns & Refund Policy.

Ships in 5–9 business days
Free shipping over $25
30-day returns
Secure checkout — cards & PayPal