1 / 3Loyal Friend Card: Punch a Bitch for You, Right in the Dick
Loyal Friend Card is a crude, loving note reading I'd punch a bitch for you, with a red heart, for the friend who always has your back.
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Loyal Friend Card shows I'd PUNCH A BITCH FOR YOU, and the printed words promise a fierce kind of loyalty that lands with a crude punchline. The red heart beneath them turns the joke into a sincere message, and it tells the reader that the sentiment is meant warmly. It is made for the friend who would fight anyone on your behalf.
Ships with a kraft envelope; envelope color in photo may vary.
How the design is put together
The large black capital letters sit centered across the upper part of the white card, with the first line reading I'd PUNCH A BITCH FOR YOU and an exclamation mark at the end. A single red heart sits below, small and rounded, the only splash of color on the front. The smaller line Right in the dick sits under the heart in lowercase black, so the eye moves from the promise down to the punchline. The lettering is clean and rounded, friendly rather than aggressive, which keeps the crude wording from feeling harsh. The heart does the quiet work of reframing the whole message as affection. Nothing else competes for attention, so the joke reads instantly.
Who will enjoy it
This card suits the friend who has always stood beside you, the sibling who would start a fight over you, or the partner who likes a little profanity mixed with real devotion. The reader usually notices the shock of the wording first, then the heart, then the grin. Loyal Friend Card works best with people who share a crude sense of humor and would laugh at the image of someone getting punched right in the dick. It also suits anyone who wants to say I have your back without sounding sappy.
For gifting
Give this card on a birthday, after a rough week, or when a friend has stuck with you through something hard. It also works as a playful thank you for showing up when it counted. Sign it with a few personal lines, because the printed joke already carries the humor and your handwriting adds the warmth. Keep it on a desk or propped on a shelf afterward so the heart keeps catching the eye.
- What does the joke on this card mean?
- The card says I'd punch a bitch for you, a crude way of promising to defend someone. The smaller line Right in the dick adds a blunt punchline. The red heart below signals that the sentiment is loving, so the joke reads as loyalty rather than hostility.
- Who is this card best suited for?
- It suits a friend, sibling or partner who enjoys crude humor and would expect a blunt joke. People who already swear freely in conversation will recognize the tone right away. It is less suited to anyone who prefers gentle or formal sentiment.
- What occasions make this card a good choice?
- Birthdays, a friend's rough week, or a simple thank you for standing by you all work well. It also fits moments when someone has defended you or helped you through a hard stretch. Pair it with a handwritten note so your own words add warmth to the joke.
- Premium 350 gsm cardstock
- Full-color print on demand (front)
- Folded 5 x 7 in (A7) card
- Blank inside for your own message
- Kraft envelope included
- Printed to order
- Paper weight: 350 g/m²
$3.95 flat shipping per order, free on orders of $25 or more. Cards are printed to order: 2–4 business days to print and pack, then 3–5 business days in transit (5–9 business days in total). We ship within the United States only.
Return unwritten cards within 30 days of delivery. Damaged or misprinted? We replace or refund it free. Read our Shipping Policy and Returns & Refund Policy.
